Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize