Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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