Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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