what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
