Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
