I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
