it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
