i just had sex bonerless
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
