dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Drunk is not a location!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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