Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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