thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
