I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
