dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
