I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
