guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
