Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
