i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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