In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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