THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Boobs are out for the taking
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
