I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
