Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize