i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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