her vagine was all disorganized.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
