dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
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you had me at cake vodka
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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