i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
