Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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