Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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