you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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