But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
