Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize