Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
