You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
