This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
