Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
