omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize