I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
