a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
