We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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