I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
