I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
