All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
