Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
