I'm jealous of your bromance
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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