Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Everything about him screamed your future.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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