called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
