My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
