I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
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If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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