Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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