ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
