it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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