I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
