loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
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Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
50% drunk capacity currently
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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