thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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