My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
